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Vanished by `RetroZombie:iconRetroZombie:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Haiku & Eastern




Kindred spirit sensed.
Hand extended in friendship
meets with air. Vanished.
©2005-2009 `RetroZombie
:iconretrozombie:

Author's Comments

Another haiku, I guess I'm getting to like them. :)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconaqua-rat:
~Aqua-rat Sep 11, 2005, 12:37:40 PM
That is a very sad haiku! I mean the subject matter, by the way, not the quality!!

--
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)
:iconretrozombie:
`RetroZombie Sep 11, 2005, 12:43:04 PM
Yes, I suppose it is. Sometimes maybe a friendship isn't what we think it is, or it's more than the other person can handle or wants... it's hard to know.

So, what do you think of the quality? ^^;

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:iconaqua-rat:
~Aqua-rat Sep 12, 2005, 3:49:40 AM
I am no expert on haiku but it looks fine to me. The fact that 'meets with air', although a follow on from 'Hand extended in friendship', falls on a different line is a great thing. This because it heightens the disappointment. Reading the first two lines you think - o, a happy little poem about friendship, and then wham! it all comes to nothing. So I think it works well.

--
THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draught - please use side door.)
:iconretrozombie:
`RetroZombie Sep 12, 2005, 8:27:43 AM
That's exactly the feeling I was trying to get across. Thanks for the great comments.

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:iconthesundowner:
~TheSundowner Sep 12, 2005, 12:54:46 PM
and getting good at them too
:iconretrozombie:
`RetroZombie Sep 12, 2005, 1:42:59 PM
Thank you, sir! That means a lot coming from you! :)

How have you been?

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:iconhummuss:
~hummuss Sep 12, 2005, 3:49:54 PM
very nice. keep doing them :please: :)

I am learning.

--
"Seeing into darkness is clarity. Knowing how to yield is strength". -Lao Tse

Here is a short story I wrote called The Wishing Well:
:star:[link]
:iconretrozombie:
`RetroZombie Sep 12, 2005, 4:12:58 PM
Thank you! So am I. :D

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:icontwilights-child:
!Twilights-Child Oct 19, 2005, 9:04:54 AM
This one is very meaningful to me. So many times you think you know someone and they seem like a great friend, and then as soon as you need them to really be a friend, they're gone. Very well expressed. =)
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